Fatshion Sunday: Which Do I Pick?

So, bonus story time!

I was out with one of my very good friends, helping her find an outfit for her dissertation defense. We ultimately decide to stop off at Lane Bryant (the huge one on 34th and 8th) Now, we’re looking at things, trying to find something that matched her aesthetic, and two lovely associates came into the dressing room to help us out.

We end up settling on this awesome backless lace top and skirt combo that is everything and the next thing I know…

“Why don’t you try on some things?”

Now wait. I am NOT here to shop for me! But then he starts bringing me clothes and helping me put together outfits and…

Well…

I do have NYFW+ coming up and I need some outfits for the shows…

Sigh.

I fell for it.

So here’s the thing: I can’t afford ALL  of the things, but I damn sure know I have to get some of them! So I need y’all, my wonderful readers, to help me pick an outfit! Here are the contenders:

wpid-img_20150825_184453.jpg

wpid-img_20150825_184558.jpg

Option A.

Jacket (coming soon!)/Skinny Jeans/Shoes

I’m not normally a jeans girl, but these skinnies are EVERYTHING. If you want as close a fit as mine, go down a size (they’re super stretchy). The coat was our lovely stylist’s idea; cause I never would have picked it out! But I do like it.

wpid-img_20150825_185845.jpg

Option B

Ruana/Skirt/Shoes

So I’m wearing a poncho as a top. And it’s comfy! The shoes hands down have to be my favorite part of this outfit, and the heels aren’t too high. And there’s cushion!

wpid-img_20150825_191122.jpg

wpid-img_20150825_191146.jpg

Option C

Jacket/Tank/Jeans

So, I already bought these shoes (they were on sale!) The jacket is my favorite part of this outfit (size up if you have larger arms like me, as there is little stretch) The jeans were comfy, but I prefer a plainer jean (yes, that’s right!) I adore sparkle, I just wasn’t such a fan of the embellishments here.

Can y’all see the bind I’m in? I want so many pieces, but the way my bank account is set up…

So, I hand it over to y’all. Help, please? Which do you like? Comment and let me know!

Super special shout out to the crew at the 34th and 8th Lane Bryant for styling help and picture snapping! They’re awesome; go see them if you come to visit!

Retail Therapy Shoes Shopping

Nail Adventures: Pretty Penguins

How long has it been since I’ve done one of these?! I know, right?

I’m back… :D

Ok, so I was perusing YouTube and came across the cutest nail art tutorial:

Adorable, right? I love the art, but since we’re still in the heat of summer, I wanted to do something like that but with a different color scheme.

wpid-20150825_133712.jpg

wpid-20150825_133835.jpg

I just had to bring in my favorite shade of blue to make my little penguin nail. Pro tip: if you’re going to do this manicure and you’re going to do the white polish over the color, make sure it’s opaque (you can tell that the polish I used really wasn’t.) If you feel like you need to do at least two coats of your white, do this method. Paint your nails with two coats of white, then use a detailing brush to paint a stripe of color around the perimeter of the nail. Next time, I’ll likely use this method to cut down on the potential marbling that could happen.

This is easy enough that you can duplicate this even with a non dominant hand (all you need is a dotting tool and some patience). I didn’t want it on every nail, so my pointer finger has its signature glitter on top (OPI’s In True Stefani Fashion.) My blue is Essie’s Butler Please, white is Essie’s Private Weekend (it’s got shimmer in it, but it’s very light.)

What’s on your nails this week? Drop some pics in the comments or tweet me @Fashion_Amateur. Can’t wait to see your manicures!

Nail Adventures

Tales From Retail: They Don’t Pay Me Enough For This…

Picture it, NYC, 2012. It’s a fairly warm afternoon, right around that elusive time we used to call “spring”, but now is just that week of “not snow” and “not hell” outdoors.

The lunchtime rush is starting to ramp up, and I’m busily recording some sales in the notebook when I notice a gentleman walking in the front doors. Nothing too unusual, but it was, again, fairly warm and this man has on a puffer jacket like it’s 30 below out.

Meh, to each his own, so I go back to work as the man darts downstairs.

I then hear the elevator doors open, and I see the man coming out. He looks around. I stop and look up, thinking he may need help. Before I can ask, he turns to beeline for the door, and some formula drops out the back of his coat.

Sigh.

Listen, y’all. I’ll be the first to admit times have been hard for everybody as of late. Folks do come into the store to steal makeup and, like, 5 hour energy and such (that’s a story for another day), but you do have those folks who have to steal food to survive. I don’t blame the folks put in that position. I blame the system that puts the folks in that position. What makes me feel doubly bad is if I see them taking food, I’m supposed to stop them.

Even if it’s obvious they’re hungry. Even if they’re just grabbing a $1 bag of chips. I’m supposed to stop them. It’s heartbreaking, and more often than not, I’ll just buy the item for them, cause folks have to eat, right? For the most part, I don’t see it as much anymore. I don’t know if it’s a sign that things are getting better economically or that the thieves are getting savvier, but I try not to think about it too much.

Anyway.

I see this formula drop out the back of his coat and immediately think this man is likely taking this for his child at home. Because I’m big-hearted like that.

He drops this formula and instead of leaving it (because there are cameras that may see him), he picks it up and decides to try and take it out of the store (in full view!) in his hands. Now, I have to stop him.

Me: “You, in the coat! Put it down.”

Customers are now staring at him, and since they don’t have the same vantage point I do, they don’t notice the canister in his hand. One woman goes: “Why is she screaming at him? He doesn’t have anything!”

Him: *stares* *puts formula in basket near door*

As he turns to walk out, another canister drops out of his coat. Well, damn.

Listen. You’re a parent, and you have a hungry baby that needs food that you are unable to afford? You steal ONE canister of formula. I shake my head. Now I know he’s likely got the whole shelf in that coat, and…

I walk up to the front door. “Give me the rest of it. Now.”

Him: “That’s all I got, man.”

He tries to walk out the store again, and TWO MORE canisters drop out. If you’ve been counting, we’re up to four now.

Me: “One more time, give me all of it. Now.”

At this point, one of the (HUGE) stock guys comes out and stands next to me. “Did you hear her? Give it back!”

He’s scared now. “I don’t have any more, man!” And tries to run.

At which point THREE more canisters drop out the coat. Passerby on the street brought them in to me (one guy had been watching the whole thing from outside, and he told me he was ready to tackle if the thief had tried to come at me. That made me smile, cause most folks don’t care.)

So, grand total of formula the guy tried to swipe? Seven canisters at about $27 a pop. Sigh.

Moral of the story? If you MUST steal…be wise about it.

Happy Monday, y’all!

Stories

I Guess You’ve Wondered Where I’ve Been…

I searched to find the love within…

I came back to let you know…

I got a thing for you…and I can’t let it go…

I love that song so much. (If you don’t know it, I’m going to put up a link so you can hear it. :) )

Anyway.

I know, I know. Feels like I fell off the face of the Earth for a minute there, huh? I missed y’all! :D

I have so much that I was working on, I had to step away for a bit to make sure I could focus on at least one project at a time. Now, the big project isn’t yet finished, but I’ve made enough leeway on it that I can come back to y’all and keep doing the other aspect of what I love most: giving y’all all of the fashion info and a healthy dose of self-confidence.

So, let me give y’all a few updates:

Regularly scheduled posts will resume on Monday (and yes, Tales from Retail will be back!) I am going to try to stick to three times a week for y’all so you don’t miss me too much.

I will be adding a new feature (coming second week of September) called Fatshionista Cooks. If you follow me on Instagram (and if not, click here to do so, if you wish) you’ve likely seen a lot of my dishes I’ve made and maybe not so much of me in makeup. And the reason for that is…

I’M WRITING A COOKBOOK! For those closest to me, they’re all, this girl’s been writing this cookbook for EONS and we haven’t seen a blessed recipe yet! And that’s true. But as of late I have really been making some headway on organizing my recipes and doing proper testing. I want to share some of the recipes with y’all ahead of the book, because y’all are awesome and have rocked with me for so long. And because each recipe has a story behind it, you’ll be thoroughly entertained…because, well, we know how most of my stories go!

I also have another project brewing, but that’s got to cook for a few months still. So stay tuned for that! :)

Also: life is good, I’m feeling pretty positive, and even though the stress gets to me at times, it’s nothing that I can’t handle. :)

With that, let me leave y’all with a song to groove into the weekend with. Happy weekend, and I’ll see y’all Monday!

Blog Stuff

Tales From Retail: Let’s Get Ready To Rumble….

Picture it: NYC, 2011. Late Night.

I’m finishing up my closing duties, and I’m on my way back from the bathroom when two men streak past me. One of them has a full garbage bag slung over his shoulder.

I already know what this means, so I head upstairs as quickly as I can to alert the loss prevention (LP) on duty so they can file a report.

Didn’t seem to be a need, because by the time I made it up the stairs, there was a standoff.

There was a third man involved, who upon seeing things were getting just a little bit too hot for comfort just kind of strolled out of the door.

The second man, who had nothing in his hands, was pleading with LP to let his friend go. His friend had the full garbage bag of all manner of medicines, whitening strips, you name it.

Yes, people steal these things. They also steal makeup testers, because they’re gross. They’ll steal YOU if they could figure out how to do it so you won’t know. It’s that hard out in these streets.

Anyway.

The thing is, we can really only hold the person who has the product, so second dude is pleading with LP to let first dude go.

“Man, you got your stuff back. Let him go,” he said.

LP wasn’t having it. “I advise you to go ’bout your business before I have you arrested, too.”

And the argument was starting to escalate.

It went from pleas to cursing, until I saw the first punch thrown. I ran to call 911 (not knowing they’d already been called) and did my best to calm down the customers in line. I remember there was a family of French tourists, mom, dad, and little boy. The little boy, who had to have been about 11, was so thoroughly enjoying what was going on. He looked like most folks do when they’re watching an action movie: eyes so big you could see the whites all around. His mom was petrified (rightly so), and kept trying to drag him towards the back of the store as he (and his dad) kept trying to inch towards the front to get a better look.

Meanwhile, LP and first dude are still going at it: LP trying to hold him till the cops got there, and dude trying to break free. LP is continually saying: “Dude, you’re going to jail. Stop fighting me,” until..

HulkGIF

Seriously, before any of us knew what was happening, LP had flipped this dude on his back in the floor. “Now STAY DOWN, I said!”

Whoa.

My reaction:

Fullscreen capture 1152015 42119 PM.bmp

It was dead silent for a few seconds as we all processed what we’d just saw.

Dude was too shocked to keep fighting, and about 5 minutes later, the police walked in and arrested him.

I keep telling y’all: retail is dangerous. I was really trying my best to keep the customers out of the way. Let’s be real: this could have gone south real quick, and when you have customers more involved in trying to see what’s happening rather than getting out of the way ( *side eye emoji*) it makes life more difficult for us to make sure folks stay safe.

Hope y’all’s week is going well so far! See you next week for another installment of Tales from Retail. :D

Stories

Fatshion Friday: Fierce and Casual

So, when we last left off, I showed y’all some of the awesome fashion that was shown at last weeks Full Figured Fashion Week Indie Show.

For once, I actually got a chance to snag some pics of my own fashion.

:D

So, for the fashion show, I went with classic black. I know, I normally don’t do black unless I’m at work, but this dress had been hanging in my closet collecting dust since January (please don’t judge me), so I figured I’d give it some shine. I paired it with a nice neutral eye, fro picked out and pinned up, and my favorite red lip:

1-20150619_172602

1-20150619_203530

Dress: ASOS Curve (Sold Out), Shoes: Payless

Now, I had another few pictures of the dress that included more of that super cute bow detail, but let me tell y’all…see, I didn’t check the sheerness of that dress. So, slightly too sheer dress plus insanely bright lighting (for pics!) equals you can see allllllll my shaper and bra, y’all. Just, dammit, man. I think I would have done better to do a black shaper instead of a nude one, but yeah. Don’t be me, y’all. Check that BEFORE you leave your house. This picture was taken away from the theatre lighting near the red carpet, so you can’t see anything.

So, I also got to attend CurvyCon this past weekend as well. I love the idea of shopping and panels and wonderful bloggers in one place. In theory. In practice…well…it was loud, crowded, and not enough seats. I did have fun for the time I was there, and got to meet some awesome folks as well as touch base with some blogger boos. :)

Since I knew I’d be doing a lot of pictures, I didn’t go super fancy. I just wanted to be comfy. So I did sneakers and a cute skirt, and kept my face natural.

wpid-20150620_115331.jpg

1-DSC_0003-002

Sneaks from JustFab.

1-DSC_0033-0011-DSC_0035-0011-DSC_0036-001

Skirt from Eloquii (check out the Midi Skirts here!)/Shirt from FeminineFunk

I had a great time last weekend, and looked fabulous doing it!

Hair Makeup Looks Retail Therapy Reviews

Full Figured Fashion Week: Indie Fashion Show

So, last week was Full Figured Fashion Week (FFF Week hereafter), and while I didn’t get a chance to participate as fully as I did last year because of work, I still got a chance to enjoy one of my favorite parts of the week: the Indie Fashion Show.

Not familiar with what an Indie Fashion Show is? Think like the brands that you never hear about. Brands I knew I wasn’t even familiar with until I attended my first FFF Week. Brands that aren’t featured on ASOS or Ashley Stewart or Lane Bryant, but are just as avant garde and stylish. Beautifully unique, like we are as curvy women.

Gotta love that.

And trust me, the fashion did not disappoint. Let’s get to it, shall we?

1-DSC_0145

Eyani Couture

1-DSC_0210

Ask Fashion

1-DSC_0290

I’Me (yep, that’s the name–pronounced “I’m Me”!)

1-DSC_0327

I’Me

1-DSC_0352

I’Me

1-DSC_0359

I’Me

1-DSC_0496

TruDiva Designs (Veronica L, the creator, won Designer of the Year!)

1-DSC_0531

TruDiva Designs

1-DSC_0728

Just Curves

1-DSC_0809

Sue Rock Originals

1-DSC_0919

Easily my favorite look of the night! By Serita Bell.

1-DSC_0940

Serita Bell

1-DSC_0982

Tia Lyn Lingerie

I know, I know. Y’all want to know what I wore, right? Never fear, I got y’all on Friday with not one outfit, but two! Stay tuned. :)

Fashion Show