Fatshion Sunday: Which Do I Pick?

So, bonus story time!

I was out with one of my very good friends, helping her find an outfit for her dissertation defense. We ultimately decide to stop off at Lane Bryant (the huge one on 34th and 8th) Now, we’re looking at things, trying to find something that matched her aesthetic, and two lovely associates came into the dressing room to help us out.

We end up settling on this awesome backless lace top and skirt combo that is everything and the next thing I know…

“Why don’t you try on some things?”

Now wait. I am NOT here to shop for me! But then he starts bringing me clothes and helping me put together outfits and…

Well…

I do have NYFW+ coming up and I need some outfits for the shows…

Sigh.

I fell for it.

So here’s the thing: I can’t afford ALL ย of the things, but I damn sure know I have to get some of them! So I need y’all, my wonderful readers, to help me pick an outfit! Here are the contenders:

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Option A.

Jacket (coming soon!)/Skinny Jeans/Shoes

I’m not normally a jeans girl, but these skinnies are EVERYTHING. If you want as close a fit as mine, go down a size (they’re super stretchy). The coat was our lovely stylist’s idea; cause I never would have picked it out! But I do like it.

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Option B

Ruana/Skirt/Shoes

So I’m wearing a poncho as a top. And it’s comfy! The shoes hands down have to be my favorite part of this outfit, and the heels aren’t too high. And there’s cushion!

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Option C

Jacket/Tank/Jeans

So, I already bought these shoes (they were on sale!) The jacket is my favorite part of this outfit (size up if you have larger arms like me, as there is little stretch) The jeans were comfy, but I prefer a plainer jean (yes, that’s right!) I adore sparkle, I just wasn’t such a fan of the embellishments here.

Can y’all see the bind I’m in? I want so many pieces, but the way my bank account is set up…

So, I hand it over to y’all. Help, please? Which do you like? Comment and let me know!

Super special shout out to the crew at the 34th and 8th Lane Bryant for styling help and picture snapping! They’re awesome; go see them if you come to visit!

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Retail Therapy Shoes Shopping

Nail Adventures: Pretty Penguins

How long has it been since I’ve done one of these?! I know, right?

I’m back… ๐Ÿ˜€

Ok, so I was perusing YouTube and came across the cutest nail art tutorial:

Adorable, right? I love the art, but since we’re still in the heat of summer, I wanted to do something like that but with a different color scheme.

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I just had to bring in my favorite shade of blue to make my little penguin nail. Pro tip: if you’re going to do this manicure and you’re going to do the white polish over the color, make sure it’s opaque (you can tell that the polish I used really wasn’t.) If you feel like you need to do at least two coats of your white, do this method. Paint your nails with two coats of white, then use a detailing brush to paint a stripe of color around the perimeter of the nail. Next time, I’ll likely use this method to cut down on the potential marbling that could happen.

This is easy enough that you can duplicate this even with a non dominant hand (all you need is a dotting tool and some patience). I didn’t want it on every nail, so my pointer finger has its signature glitter on top (OPI’s In True Stefani Fashion.) My blue is Essie’s Butler Please, white is Essie’s Private Weekend (it’s got shimmer in it, but it’s very light.)

What’s on your nails this week? Drop some pics in the comments or tweet me @Fashion_Amateur. Can’t wait to see your manicures!

Nail Adventures

Tales From Retail: They Don’t Pay Me Enough For This…

Picture it, NYC, 2012. It’s a fairly warm afternoon, right around that elusive time we used to call “spring”, but now is just that week of “not snow” and “not hell” outdoors.

The lunchtime rush is starting to ramp up, and I’m busily recording some sales in the notebook when I notice a gentleman walking in the front doors. Nothing too unusual, but it was, again, fairly warm and this man has on a puffer jacket like it’s 30 below out.

Meh, to each his own, so I go back to work as the man darts downstairs.

I then hear the elevator doors open, and I see the man coming out. He looks around. I stop and look up, thinking he may need help. Before I can ask, he turns to beeline for the door, and some formula drops out the back of his coat.

Sigh.

Listen, y’all. I’ll be the first to admit times have been hard for everybody as of late. Folks do come into the store to steal makeup and, like, 5 hour energy and such (that’s a story for another day), but you do have those folks who have to steal food to survive. I don’t blame the folks put in that position. I blame the system that puts the folks in that position. What makes me feel doubly bad is if I see them taking food, I’m supposed to stop them.

Even if it’s obvious they’re hungry. Even if they’re just grabbing a $1 bag of chips. I’m supposed to stop them. It’s heartbreaking, and more often than not, I’ll just buy the item for them, cause folks have to eat, right? For the most part, I don’t see it as much anymore. I don’t know if it’s a sign that things are getting better economically or that the thieves are getting savvier, but I try not to think about it too much.

Anyway.

I see this formula drop out the back of his coat and immediately think this man is likely taking this for his child at home. Because I’m big-hearted like that.

He drops this formula and instead of leaving it (because there are cameras that may see him), he picks it up and decides to try and take it out of the store (in full view!) in his hands. Now, I have to stop him.

Me: “You, in the coat! Put it down.”

Customers are now staring at him, and since they don’t have the same vantage point I do, they don’t notice the canister in his hand. One woman goes: “Why is she screaming at him? He doesn’t have anything!”

Him: *stares* *puts formula in basket near door*

As he turns to walk out, another canister drops out of his coat. Well, damn.

Listen. You’re a parent, and you have a hungry baby that needs food that you are unable to afford? You steal ONE canister of formula. I shake my head. Now I know he’s likely got the whole shelf in that coat, and…

I walk up to the front door. “Give me the rest of it. Now.”

Him: “That’s all I got, man.”

He tries to walk out the store again, and TWO MORE canisters drop out. If you’ve been counting, we’re up to four now.

Me: “One more time, give me all of it. Now.”

At this point, one of the (HUGE) stock guys comes out and stands next to me. “Did you hear her? Give it back!”

He’s scared now. “I don’t have any more, man!” And tries to run.

At which point THREE more canisters drop out the coat. Passerby on the street brought them in to me (one guy had been watching the whole thing from outside, and he told me he was ready to tackle if the thief had tried to come at me. That made me smile, cause most folks don’t care.)

So, grand total of formula the guy tried to swipe? Seven canisters at about $27 a pop. Sigh.

Moral of the story? If you MUST steal…be wise about it.

Happy Monday, y’all!

Stories

I Guess You’ve Wondered Where I’ve Been…

I searched to find the love within…

I came back to let you know…

I got a thing for you…and I can’t let it go…

I love that song so much. (If you don’t know it, I’m going to put up a link so you can hear it. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Anyway.

I know, I know. Feels like I fell off the face of the Earth for a minute there, huh? I missed y’all! ๐Ÿ˜€

I have so much that I was working on, I had to step away for a bit to make sure I could focus on at least one project at a time. Now, the big project isn’t yet finished, but I’ve made enough leeway on it that I can come back to y’all and keep doing the other aspect of what I love most: giving y’all all of the fashion info and a healthy dose of self-confidence.

So, let me give y’all a few updates:

Regularly scheduled posts will resume on Monday (and yes, Tales from Retail will be back!) I am going to try to stick to three times a week for y’all so you don’t miss me too much.

I will be adding a new feature (coming second week of September) called Fatshionista Cooks. If you follow me on Instagram (and if not, click here to do so, if you wish) you’ve likely seen a lot of my dishes I’ve made and maybe not so much of me in makeup. And the reason for that is…

I’M WRITING A COOKBOOK! For those closest to me, they’re all, this girl’s been writing this cookbook for EONS and we haven’t seen a blessed recipe yet! And that’s true. But as of late I have really been making some headway on organizing my recipes and doing proper testing. I want to share some of the recipes with y’all ahead of the book, because y’all are awesome and have rocked with me for so long. And because each recipe has a story behind it, you’ll be thoroughly entertained…because, well, we know how most of my stories go!

I also have another project brewing, but that’s got to cook for a few months still. So stay tuned for that! ๐Ÿ™‚

Also: life is good, I’m feeling pretty positive, and even though the stress gets to me at times, it’s nothing that I can’t handle. ๐Ÿ™‚

With that, let me leave y’all with a song to groove into the weekend with. Happy weekend, and I’ll see y’all Monday!

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