Halloween is upon us once again. I’ve noticed as of late it isn’t as popular a holiday as it was when I was a peanut, but I still adore the holiday so much. It’s the one day dressing oddly is actually OK. At least to a certain extent.

It can be a hard day to navigate as a make up artist…because some folks still don’t know it isn’t OK to ask to be made up as certain characters.

Especially if you’re gonna ask the BLACK make up artist to do it for you.

*side eye emoji*

So, as a matter of trying to save my sisters and brothers from snapping at the make up counters and in the costume stores, allow me to explain some things you should masquerade as this year.

Please take good note of this. I don’t want y’all to get cursed out in front of God and everybody.

  1. Native Americans. Of any kind. Yes, even Pocahontas. Especially certain sports mascots. Confused by that? Allow me to help you:

NotACostume2

*Facepalm*

THIS IS NOT OK. NO. DO NOT DO THIS. *deep breath* Listen, I get it. You want show your team spirit/appreciation for Native culture/wear a feathered headdress. If you want to wear a feathered headdress, be a Las Vegas showgirl. Do not claim to be a “Native American princess” or a “brave” (actual name of a costume I saw in the store the other day) because that is not a costume, that is culture. Culture is not nor will it ever be a costume.

2. Blackface. Of any kind. You can dress up like Beyonce’ and not put on dark foundation to make yourself her shade. This is why she spends so much money on wardrobe and makeup. You too can dress like her…and not be offensive. This isn’t rocket science, y’all. If you leave your house for a party and you thought this was a good idea:

NotACostume3

*sigh*

…then I need you to find some new friends and some good sense. Because you’re clearly lacking both.

3. Stereotypes. *rubs forehead* See, this:

1-Fullscreen capture 10242015 81239 PM

*side eye*

…is not ok. I do not care if you can buy it in a store (this is available for purchase, folks, but I’m not telling you where), this is NOT OK. There were others with guitars and oversized bottles of liquor included too. I just…listen. And this:

Illegal Alien Costume

FFS, y’all!

…also not ok. To go back to culture not being a costume: if you pick up that Geisha costume and wonder if it’s ok? It likely isn’t and you should be something else instead. Just throwing it out there.

That being said, there are ways to dress up and have a good time. Make sure your makeup is for you and pays proper homage to the person/character you want to be. For example:

Miley Cyrus as Lil Kim.

I thought this was so precious when I first saw this. I knew she was portraying Lil Kim. And she didn’t have to use blackface or anything. I’m also here for some cultural references if in good taste. For example:

“Sexy” variety aside, I swear sriracha is in everything and is everywhere (besides pumpkin spice), so this is super cute. Other options of safe costumes: superheroes, video games, and book characters.

And finally, if you decide to wait til the last minute to get your costume, please don’t yell at your cashier/customer service associate. We can’t make extra merchandise magically appear (and it’s been in stores since September, so…) but we will do our best to help you where we can.

With that, I hope y’all have a great Halloween! Coming Wednesday, I will have some great ideas for costumes for us plus sized folk–both bought and homemade. See you then

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