Fatshion Friday: I Wear What I Want

I wear what I want.

Even if it scares me, even if people think I shouldn’t.

I wear what I want.

Yesterday, I went to FFF Week’s trunk show, and got to meet some lovely designers (and a baker), and I wore my new shirt from Feminine Funk. This is the one I picked up at Wednesday’s event, and spoke so cryptically about yesterday.

I cannot tell you how many compliments I received. I love this shirt to itty bitty pieces.

The kicker?

It’s a crop top.

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I never in a million years thought that I would do a crop top. It’s a look that I covet but never thought I would be able to pull off. But bolder looks, like hair and makeup, take confidence to pull it off. If you think sexy, you are. Words to live by. Now, I put a vest on with the outfit because I was worried about my love handles being out–a great option if, like me, you want to take baby steps towards such a bold statement. And as I walked the New York streets, as I walked around the trunk show, everyone loved the statement.

I wear what I want.

Including wearing my hair free and lavender lippy:

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My hair is much shorter than it was before and I love it so! The lip is a combo of bright blue lipstick and pink gloss.

Anyone can wear anything. It’s all about finding a look that speaks to you and makes you happy.

So, join me. And wear what you want. 🙂

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Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone

In continuation of my going bold theme, I took some time to take a look at some things that scare me.

Things that scare me in both fashion and in beauty.

Things that I don’t do because I always have a set of rules that say why I can’t, but I ignore the one reason I can:

Because I want to.

So much passes me by because I think it won’t be flattering or that I have no business wearing it because I’m not “built properly” to rock it.

An example: I never really got on board with the whole jumpsuit thing. I kept seeing them everywhere, and I’m all “Someone like me with a belly has NO BUSINESS  wearing that!” And then I bought a bodycon dress for my birthday dinner. Technically, it’s along the same lines of what I “shouldn’t” be wearing: I have a belly. I should be dressing to camouflage my belly, cause that’s what conventional fat girl fashion wisdom says. At the same time, I have to understand that for as long as I’ve been on this earth, I have had a belly. It isn’t gonna disappear in a larger dress or shirt or whatever. So I can keep trying to hide it and let some good fashion pass me by yet again, or I could just rock the thing.

I felt amazing in my dress. No regrets.

So, by association, I ought to be able to wear a jumpsuit or romper and feel just as amazing, right?

This week’s postings will focus on trends that scare me. Either because it isn’t something I’d normally do, or because it’s something I’ve been trained that I’m not supposed to do.

And for fun, here’s a pic of me in a lipstick color most folks have trouble with: red!

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This is the MAC Viva Glam Rihanna lipstick and lipglass.

See you tomorrow with a new Nail Adventure!

Makeup Looks Positivity

Taking Up Space

Author’s Note: With all the talk of going bold this week, I figured I’d share this piece from my idea journal. NSFW language in here.

I’ve made it a point to shrink. I don’t want to take up space.

Being fat will do that to you.

I don’t want to draw attention.

My love of bright color is tempered during the week. An all black wardrobe doesn’t turn heads; a neutral eye and lip color palette doesn’t raise an eyebrow.

I’m exhausted, but I don’t want to take that seat. I don’t want to inconvenience those I have to sit next to. If I can’t estimate I can fit, I’ll stand for the whole 45 minute ride home.

And if I do sit, I squish into my seat, hoping I don’t encroach on someone else’s space. Arms folded, bag held against me or resting on my feet so that even my bag doesn’t take unnecessary room.

But I take up space, no matter what I do.

My hair, whether in a high puff, free, or pinned, takes up more space. If I am off and have on loud lipstick or bright shadow, even if I am in the most neutral of outfits, I am noticed. Sometimes people express their admiration with a smile; their dissension with a raised brow. I pat my hair self-consciously. It flattens, then springs back to life, reaching full height.

I still take up space. No matter what I do.

It’s something like springtime. It’s getting warmer; soon it will be hot. I set my arms free, full and squishy. I go to yoga class and stretch them skyward in Warrior 1. I spread them wide in Warrior 2. I notice the fat hanging. I fling them back in Warrior 3; take flight.

Easy to fly when you can’t see the “problem”, right?

I work hard to stay on my mat; keep my mind on my practice.

Taking up space. No matter what I do.

I can’t help taking up space. I’m done apologizing for it–whether it’s changing my outfit because “no one wants to see all that” to putting on all neutral makeup forever and ever amen because I don’t deserve color.

I don’t deserve to take up space. I don’t deserve to demand it.

I reject that shit.

I deserve space, I deserve to take it up, I deserve to adorn myself as I please and take up as much space as I need.

As much as I desire.

Don’t like it? Then move and create your own space elsewhere. Leave me to mine.

I’ll still be here. Taking up space.

Deal with it.

Dedicated to those who need an ego boost this week.

Positivity Stories

Going Bold

For work, I tend to stick to neutrals because when I get people in my chair, and it’s a blue eye shadow day, it scares my clients.

I get the quizzical eyebrow, and then…

“You’re not gonna make me look like…you, are you?”

It’s easy to get offended by this, but I get it. Most people want to blend in most of the time. I get that for day to day work looks, neutrals are the safest. I wish that weren’t the case, but it’s what it is. When I get people in my chair, it’s like they have this unwritten rule book about colors and looks that I’ve not been privy to. A snippet of these rules:

1. Colors are only for going out.

2. Oh, honey, that blue shadow looks great on you, but could never do such a thing.

3. Red lipstick makes me look like a streetwalker!

4. Smoky eyes are supposed to be black and silver, right? That’s what I’ve always seen.

5. I have dark skin, I can’t wear bright colors.

Sigh. None of these are true. I know that the way makeup is marketed will lead you to believe those things, but it really isn’t true. So, counterpoints:

1. Color is for whatever time of day you want to wear it. So pink eyeshadow is fine for daytime if you want it. Just put it on the lid only and blend with a neutral shade if you work in a conservative office.

2. You may not like the cerulean blue shadow I have on my eyes today, but I bet if you let me put some of this periwinkle on you’ll see your blue eyes pop! (purple is lovely with green, and greens are beautiful with brown.)

3. If you feel a bit…overdone, as it were, you just have on the wrong shade of red. Cherry red doesn’t go with all skin tones, y’all. But one could do a burgundy, or one with more blue (these look like they cast more pink). There are so many shades of red in the world, and if you have time to play around I bet you’ll find one that makes you feel and look fabulous.

4. Smoking an eye is a technique, so you can use any colors you want. Love green? Do it in three shades of green! Love colors in general? Use multiple colors. If you don’t know what works together, download a color wheel and pick three colors that sit next to each other. The more you play around, the more colors you’ll morph together (try pink, yellow, and orange!)

5. Nothing makes me sadder than to get folks in my store and decide that the world of color is not for them because they’re “too dark.” As black and brown folks, we can wear any color we want. We just have to look at the shade’s tones, not the shade itself. So, again, maybe cerulean isn’t your favorite look for yourself, but that deeper sapphire is amazing. Don’t throw the whole rainbow out because one beam doesn’t shine bright enough.

Honestly, I think the biggest rule of makeup is that there are no rules. Guidelines, sure (I think everyone should use primer, for example, and it isn’t just for eyes), but there is no set of set in stone rules for it. And there shouldn’t be. You have to be willing to be bold, really. Not too much more to it than that. Even though my customers are petrified of my bright colors for themselves, they LOVE it on me, and that’s because I don’t carry myself timidly when I have it on. I’ll do loud greens and yellows and pin up my ‘fro. I know I’m gonna get eyes on me, so I hold my head high and strut. That’s really what sells a look–not just the technique or color.

In honor of going bold this week (and every week), here’s a look I did with my Urban Decay Electric Palette:

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With this look, you have options! You can go with a nude lip, as I did in the first two pics (gloss is Kitten by Stila), or you can go bright with a pink. I know, typically bold eyes go with nude lips. Here’s why this works: I’m in the same color family. So you can do a pink or even a purple, but no red here. This pink is called Jilted, and it’s by Urban Decay.

Would y’all like a tutorial on the eye look? Let me know and I’ll post it next week!

Go bold and be brave. 🙂

 

 

Makeup Looks Positivity