Liberation

2015 was a year of major changes for me. Outside of finally getting my septum pierced (a thing I’d been dreaming of for years!), I finally got my first tattoo.

I also decided to finally live life as queer. I don’t think I’ve ever shared that with y’all before, but there it is.

I still tingle when I write that. When I say that. Because it is and continues to be so affirming to live freely.

New Year’s eve, I decided to do one more modification. Something I had never done because I’d gotten so much push back. So much: “OMG, but whyyyyyyyy?!” Or “Maybe you should braid it instead to get a different look!”

I heard every reason known to humankind as to why I shouldn’t cut my hair, but I only needed one reason to go for it.

Cause I’m grown and I do what I want. 😀

Honestly, my hair has been such a source of contention when it came to professional life (“You have to be marketable to future employers and make sure to adhere to a non-threatening look for work!”) and personal life (see damn near everyone I’ve ever dated that has been more attached to my hair than I am). Even when I transitioned my hair to natural, instead of doing the big chop like I wanted I just transitioned my hair. My boyfriend at the time loved my hair. And I loved him. So I kept it.

Fast forward to December 22, 2015. I’m catching up with a good friend of mine, C. She sends me a pic of her hair, shaved on one side, and I think it’s so beautiful. I didn’t think I would ever be brave enough to rock that. I mean, everyone loves my hair, so I should keep it, right? Then C shocked me.

“As much as I love your hair, this haircut has changed my life. I bet it will change yours too.”

Hmm.

She gave me the info of her barber and I made an appointment the same night. I didn’t know if I would go through with it. I didn’t really tell folks I was cutting it, either. I did warn my coworkers the day before, and my friends S and C knew.  I just didn’t want anyone to try and talk me out of it.

December 31, 2015: I did it.

I cut my hair.

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I went from this….

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To this!

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Design and all!

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Close up of the swirls. Haircut by Khane at Camera Ready Kutz.

If you would have told me I’d cut my hair (into a Mohawk, no less!) I’d have thought you’d lost your mind. When I tell you I feel free, though? As she buzzed my head every expectation attached to my hair fell away. I feel lighter.

Liberated.

Not just from what people expect when they look at a Black woman’s natural hair but from society’s rules. Yeah, it’s a bit cliche, but I look like the cool, queer, aunt. I happen to BE a cool, queer aunt. It’s awesome to be able to show outwardly the freedom I feel within.

Liberated.

Happy New Year.

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Fatshion Friday: What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?

I certainly hope you’ll be getting all dolled up and going out for the night! I know I am.

January 1, 2015 I was happily dancing away in a club with my friends, and I’m looking to do that all over again. Now, I told y’all about all my mishaps getting my outfit. This year, I’ve planned way better…I have my outfit already! At least, I have the basics already: I’m doing a romper, tights, and red heels. All I need now are accessories, and next Friday I’ll have a post at the ready with some great ideas for finishing off your look.

But, you need to have the look first, right? Let me show you some of my ideas for an awesome night out at any budget!

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From Ashley Stewart.

I have come a long way from that girl who refused to do a romper or a jumpsuit. I didn’t think they worked for my body type because I carry most of my weight in my belly. Key here is fit. Take the time to try it out if you can, or make sure that there’s some stretch in it if you have to get it online. This look appeals to my practical side (what if I want to twerk a little? Now I’m not gonna be overexposed!) and to my sexy side (love the cut and sparkle). Because I like to define my waist, I’d do a belt with it, but do whatever makes you the most comfortable and makes you feel the most gorgeous.

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From ASOS.

If I had to choose between a romper or a jumpsuit, I’d likely pick the romper because I love my legs. They’re so shapely! 😀

Had to have a self-love moment. Sorry, not sorry. 🙂

I love this because of the embroidery. Because it’s mixed metallics, you could do gold or silver (or both!) jewels with this and a bold shoe. I mean, what better time to sparkle than New Year’s, right?

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From Monif C.

Ok, so maybe the soiree you’re attending doesn’t call for glitz and glam. Or, maybe you’re just not that into sparkle. I love this piece because it can be glammed up or left as is for a subtle elegance that looks good no matter the venue. A statement necklace and a nice heel is all you need to make this complete.

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From Monif C.

Does your night out call for all over sparkle? (Yep, I work in extremes, folks! :D) This dress is perfect. Beautiful cut and enough glittery happiness that calls for minimal extras outside of a nice heel and clutch. I’m all about easy!

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From Jibri.

In need of something dramatic? Bring it on with this number. I don’t normally go for sheer paneling, but I have to say I love how it just gives a little extra coverage without being too heavy. I’d do a metallic shoe and bangles with this because I believe more is more, but styling as seen in the pic is perfect for just enough drama for the evening.

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From Eloquii.

Oh, this dress. Story time!

I had every intention of purchasing this dress for New Year’s, right? I’d planned out the accessories (I was gonna add a bow tie and do red shoes) and everything, and put it in my cart. Y’all. By the time I’d gotten a chance to sign in and place the order, it was all sold out. I stalked the site for a few days, but usually when an item is gone from Eloquii, it’s gone. I sniffled a bit and found something else I liked, and ordered it.

And then…it came back in stock. During a non-pay week, and I’m flying out of town soon.

Sigh.

Oh, well. There’s no reason y’all can’t reap the benefits of the restock! You could style it as I described above, dress it down with a jeweled oxford, throw on some tights and a brightly colored pump, whatever! I love this dress just for its versatility.

And there you have it! My picks for a beautiful and stylish New Year. Next week, I’m going to talk about shoes and accessories for the big night. Happy Weekend!

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Fatshion Friday: New Year, New Perspective

Hello my lovelies! I hope y’all had a safe and happy new year. 🙂

Wednesday, I told y’all about my outfit I’d originally planned for New Year’s Eve.

Sadly, I still haven’t got it (no one was able to sign for it, so it’ll be delivered today, hopefully) but I’d gotten a surprise shipment from Eloquii on Tuesday.

I’d only ordered it the previous Friday, and didn’t think I’d get it in time. I was so happy I did, because I’d managed to ransack my room trying to figure out what to put on and still wasn’t 100% happy with what I’d put together.

But before I get into my fabulous outfit, I want to have a moment to discuss my history with New Years.

I don’t really have one. This was the first year since I moved to the Big Apple that I’d actually gone out to celebrate. Logistics of trying to navigate NYC on NYE aside (OMG Y’ALL. SUCH A PAIN) there’s always something to get into, and I’d never taken the time to experience it.

Most of it had to do with me being socially awkward and introverted. I’ve made some strides over the last year to get out and do things, even if it’s by myself. That hasn’t always been me though. I actually found the club my friends and I attended and coordinated getting folks to come out. Also not something I normally do.

But it was so worth it.

NYE is fraught with anxiety for most people, particularly if you’re single. It’s seen as a night to maybe make a new friend and get a kiss at midnight. I’ve still not had that first year’s kiss experience, but my NYE wasn’t lacking at all. That wasn’t what I was aiming for. I wanted to celebrate surrounded by my friends, and ring in the new year with some of my favorite people in the world.

I got to do that. And for that, I am happy and grateful. 😀

I also looked fabulous.

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Please don’t mind the blurry club pics. This was a pause in the middle of a happy dance!

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And here’s me and my friend C, all dolled up for the night.

Now, let’s talk outfit details. Yep. That’s my belly. All of it. Stretch marks and all.

And I was so surprised at how many compliments I received. Even though I love to push my personal comfort boundaries, I still get anxiety about wearing clothes that society says fat girls aren’t supposed to wear. Crop top? What? Are people gonna laugh at me?

Maybe they did. I couldn’t hear them over how others told me they loved what I had on. So, this is the African Violet set from Eloquii, and I layered it with their white Longline Vest  because a) cold, and b) pockets (the skirt has pockets too). I wore a simple pair of sparkly flats (that cut my toe 😦 ) but were relatively comfortable, and I danced the night away with my friends.

Then we had breakfast, and we all went home with smiles on our faces.

If NYE was an indicator of how my 2015 is going to go, then I’m here for all of it. Here’s to new experiences and fabulous fashion in the new year!

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