What Have You Done For You Lately?

Yesterday, I posted this as my status on Facebook:

I slept in this morning. Best sleep ever.
Instead of rolling over and doing obligatory stuff, I took some time to catch up on blogs and do some pre-birthday shopping, talk to friends.
Had a great breakfast and enjoyed more than one cup of coffee. 

Now I can do the obligatory stuff and be productive.

Sometimes the best things to do for yourself are the simple ones: enjoying life with no time limit.

It amazes me how much we do as humans: get up, work, cook, clean, look after loved ones, etc, etc. But what have we done to make ourselves happy? Something as simple as getting some extra sleep (or in my case, getting sleep period) is an exercise in self care.

We don’t focus on that often, enough, I think.

We don’t like to say no, or to postpone an obligation.

We don’t like to do for ourselves, in lieu of doing for others.

We put off a small thing that makes us happy (for me, an extra cup of coffee) for completing a task (finishing a schedule.)

And it’s to our detriment.

Typically before I start a new work week, I like to take some time just for me. Sometimes it’s doing my hair; giving myself a good scrub and a deep conditioning. Sometimes it’s a pedicure. Sometimes its taking the time to make my favorite dish, one I don’t do often because its so time consuming (chicken and dumplings.)

And when I do that thing? It instantly brightens my mood.

I took an entire morning to myself, and I felt productive for the rest of my day. I got my housework done, some research finished, dinner AND lunch for the week done. I feel like I can start my workweek having made myself happy, and now I can go forth and share that with the world.

It’s Monday. Most folks hate Mondays because it’s the start of the week; a return to the mundane work life or stress left behind from Friday.

So take some time today to do what makes you happy–even if it’s just a walk around the block at lunch or a milkshake from your favorite restaurant.

Oh, and rock out to this, because it’s what I was listening to when I came up with the title to this post:

Opinions Positivity

On Reclaiming the Word Fat

I had a conversation with my coworker a while back, and in the middle of the discussion, I started a sentence with “As a fat woman, I–” and my coworker stopped me short.

“No, Char! Don’t call yourself fat!”

Admittedly, I was bewildered. After all, I am fat. This can easily be seen by looking at me. So, I responded: “But, C, I am fat.”

“No! It’s just so…negative. Don’t say such a thing, because you are a good person with a good heart.”

“Thanks, doll, but really, I am fat. What you mean is that I am not all of those negative things people associate with fat. Like, stupid, ugly, and so on. But I refuse to let the word fat mean anything more than that. If someone thinks I’m stupid  and ugly, then said someone would do well to say that as opposed to hurling the word “fat” at me as though they’re telling me something I don’t know or implying I should be ashamed of that fact.”

C looked at me thoughtfully. “You know, I never thought of it like that.”

People have a habit of adding the word “fat” to whatever insult they’re hurling towards someone else. “She’s a fat, horrible, miserable person.” “He is the absolute worst, fucking fat ass.” When people do this, folks get the idea that fat=terrible. And it really isn’t.

Here’s the thing: I call myself fat because it’s how I would describe myself. I put it right in the same category as if I would say I was Black, I have an afro, I am average height, and I am fat. Typically, around others, I make it a point to use other euphemisms for fat: curvy, thick, plus sized. And I don’t have an issue with these other terms (or issues with those who prefer these other terms to the word fat.) But I figure that attitudes can’t change  unless folks see that there is another route to interpretation. So, I am a Black woman author/makeup maven with an afro, and I’m fat.

I reject the notion that fat is an indicator of my intelligence, of my beauty, of my self worth, or of my personality. I reject the notion that fat=ugly. I reject the notion that fat=unlovable.

Fat is an adjective, not an insult. Period.

Until next time, stay empowered and beautiful.

Positivity Rant